The Person Hand-Picked for Me
Redefining Relationships Part 6
Present State = You’ve decided to get married. Where do we start?
So you’ve decided to get married or you’re seriously thinking about it? This is where I like to start with couples who come to us to coach them through marriage and wedding planning. Honestly, I never really imagined that I’d speak on this topic. Actually, it’s not one that really interests me a whole lot…blame that on the past. If you were sitting with me, the 2nd thing I’d say is be at ease, I’m not here to determine if you should marry each other or not, my goal is to coach you in the event you do. I have many reasons for that decision, if you’re interested, leave me a comment below.
Present State
In our previous blog post, we discussed the two points that make up your journey, the starting point and the destination. So you’ve decided to get married, where do you start? You’re defining the starting point of a new journey. Since the decision to get married marks your “present state”, then you need to know what’s the destination-your future state. To do this, you need to do what uncommon people do, understand marriage and get the right perspective. If God created marriage (and He did), why? Was it so that people could reproduce? Not hardly, he created every creature and many species reproduce differently. Some don’t require lasting relationships. The praying mantis for example, the female kills and eats the male. I think God is showing His sense of humor with the “praying” mantis. Back to the point of why marriage. Here’s what I’m setting out to prove. God has an assignment that only the two of you can accomplish together. The “why”. Your “why”!
The Two of You Have a Job to Do
“The Lord God placed the man in the Garden of Eden [for a reason, to do something] to tend and watch over it.” – Genesis 2:15 NLT
God placed Adam in the Garden of Eden for a reason. He had a job for Him to do. Likewise, He has placed you where you are because you, like Adam, have a job to do.
“Then the Lord God said, “It is not good for the man [with his job] to be alone. I will make a helper who is just right for him [to assist with what he was tasked to do by God].”” – Genesis 2:18 NLT
The Details of the Job
After God gave Adam his job, He said it’s not good for the man to have to do this work, this assignment, his job, all alone. So God’s answer for this person’s aloneness was to give him help. God didn’t just give Him any kind of help, but “one just right for him.” This is a perfect time for those who have spouses to look at each other and say, I’m “just right for you.”
I’m not inferior to you.
I’m not inadequate for you.
I’m not in your way.
I’m not too tall or too short.
I’m not too smart or…not.
I’m just right for you whether I look the part or not.
[There I’ve gone…started preaching.]
Ordinary people fall into the trap that make them think the help they have is no help at all. Do you know what help really is, just help. The helper doesn’t do the job, the helper helps with the job. If you feel your helper isn’t good enough, it’s because you don’t want to do your part and want the help to do what you should be doing. Again the help isn’t broken. The help is… just right!
“So the Lord God caused the man to fall into a deep sleep. While the man slept, the Lord God took out one of the man’s ribs and closed up the opening. Then the Lord God made a woman from the rib, and he brought her [the helper just right for him] to the man.” – Genesis 2:21-22 NLT
Any work God gives us, is a large task. His assignments aren’t anything we could ever just do on our own, we need help. So what is it that you need help with? This is important because your God-given assignment is the purpose for the marriage. Without a purpose, your chances of having a lasting marriage are slim. What assignment, dream or vision have you been given that if you attempted it you know you’d need some help? This is what you and your spouse should be working on. This is the prerequisite for the union.
This is what makes “holy” matrimony, “holy”.
This is what makes your marriage unique.
This is what causes you to be set apart.
This is what will make sure you have a marriage like no one else.
This is what sets you two apart from the rest. No longer average, ordinary, common or normal, but extraordinary, 1st class, a step ahead and exceptional.
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Future State
Lastly, let’s discuss your future state which is to remain dedicated to the purpose for which you were brought together in the first place. You see God knows and knew you’d be at this moment, in this space in history and surrounded by the people in your life. His purpose for you will prevail. So if we’re to make the best of what God has for us, then let’s do what He would want us to do and leave that ordinary stuff behind us. I feel like saying this so I will. I declare, you’re a couple for Christ’s sake, so act like it. Act like you have a purpose to be fruitful (getting results), multiplying (the ability to skip addition, but make more happen exponentially together than apart), and replenish the earth (do something to impact the world around you). I believe in you. I believe you’re uncommon. Can you receive that, in Jesus’ name.
I’d love it, if you’d leave us a comment below.
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