The Great Divide

Redefining Relationships Part 4

I’ve been wanting to write on this topic for quite some time now.  This idea has been in my notes for years and I think the time is finally here.  I hope I can do this justice as I have been simmering over it for a long time.  I want to talk to you about something I call “The Great Divide”.   Maybe it should be called “The Great Divider”.

Before I get started, let me say how much we appreciate you, our readers.  You make the work Pamela, I, and the NLC team do worthwhile.

In this post, we aim to help you identify a problem that is normal, but goes unnoticed.  We consider it just the way life works and settle for its effects, but today I wish to expose it and help you overcome it when it occurs.  By the way, the book we’re writing, “The 16 Levels of Love“, this topic would be considered ground-floor-type stuff.  The problem is most of us, normal people, have never had a chance to visit this building.  What’s even sadder is that most Christians don’t know that such a building (concept) exist.  Let’s begin.

The Separated Connection
“If a kingdom [a nation, a family, a relationship] is divided against itself, that kingdom [nation, family, relationship] cannot stand.” – The Bible

The best way to kill a relationship is to stop it before it gets started good.  If you know anything about The Bible, this is what happened to Adam and Eve.  They had the perfect relationship with not just themselves, but with God.  In fact their existence together was better because of the relationship they had with God.  But something changed that and it wasn’t an apple from a tree (don’t get caught up in the disobedience thing either).  
Here’s something that you may have never considered.  What Adam and Eve discovered was the definition of sin.  It wasn’t a thing or object, but anything that could be used to separate anything that is connected.  They were connected to God, but had a disconnect…they disobeyed Him.  They disconnected from Life and connected themselves to death.   
The Bible says the wages [paycheck] of sin is death which is separation from God.  Sin separates you from Life.  It separates you from Love.  

In the same way, there are things you can do to your spouse that will create a divide.  There are certain actions you can take that will put a rift in your family.  There are things you can say that brings death to your marriage.  Anything that separates what’s connected is “sin”.

One Brick at A Time
In our previous post, we discussed the relationship life cycle and during the infatuation stage,  there’s no sin.  No one does, or says anything that could bring a disconnect.  So what happens to a couple, a family, a team or a marriage that causes such a divide that divorce or war occurs.  “The Great Divide” is what happens.

Did you know that the Grand Canyon was formed by millions of years of water erosion.  The Grand Canyon was carved out little by little.  In the same way, The Great Divide is formed in a relationship.  
Let’s think of it this way, each time you say something or do something that’s against the one you’re connected, you place a brick between you and them.  Each insult, you add another block.  Each complaint, you add a brick.  With each occurrence you’re building a wall that starts out very small and rises as you pour on the offenses.  This is what it means to die.  You cut yourselves off from each other.  At first the brick wall isn’t that noticeable because the two of you can just step over it.  As time passes, the wall gets too high to step over and your view of each other become less and less.  Continuing in this same pattern, the wall becomes so high that the two of you can no longer see each other.  With a wall like this, there really is no relationship; it’s been completely severed.  
[note note_color=”#E3EAEE” text_color=”#060A09″] [/note]

How do we fix it?
The only way to fix the relationship is to remove the wall.  You can remove it all at once with dynamite (something very impacting) or brick by brick.  That’s totally up to you, but the wall must come down if you want to save the relationship.  To remove the bricks means instead of hurling insults, you hurl affirmation.  Instead of complaints, appreciation.  

How high has your wall gotten and what step will you take to begin removing the brick wall that’s created separation in your relationship? Leave a comment below.