My Spouse: Benefit or Distraction?

Marriage is a Gift – Part 5

“I’m glad to say that I’m married!”  Is that a phrase you often here?  Most of us, 51% or better, tend to use different language to describe our marriage.  In today’s post, we’re going to try to resolve that issue and possibly give you something you can do today to change your perspective.

You may not know this, but it all starts and ends with you.  In a normal relationship, it starts and ends with your spouse or significant other.  I’m glad you’re no longer “normal” or at least will be.  In an uncommon relationship, it starts and ends with you (me).  100% of the relationship is on me.

The husband should fulfill his wife’s sexual needs, and the wife should fulfill her husband’s needs. The wife gives authority over her body to her husband, and the husband gives authority over his body to his wife. – ‭‭1 Corinthians‬ ‭7:3-4‬ ‭NLT‬‬

A Spouse You Never Saw Coming
You know what, I love scripture and I love to use it as the foundation of most messages.  In the above scripture, did you happen to notice the use of the term, “sexual needs”?  How often do you hear that phrase in church?  I bet for most, 51% or more, they’ve never heard a message that discusses “sexual needs”.  In fact even as  I draft this post, I want to backspace and delete the mention of it.  Now for the why-did-I-leave-it-in.  I left it in because normally it gets left out and as you know I’m tired of being “normal”.  If you want better results, normal must be left behind.  I guess I better get to the point of why I mention this verse.  Notice it places the ownership of your spouse’s need (even sexual) back on you.  I know you didn’t see that coming.  In an uncommon relationship, you take ownership for filling your spouse’s need and not your own.  Now that’s uncommon!

A Spouse in Control
Truthfully, I really only wanted to discuss verse 4 which (as you can see above) speaks of authority over the body.  What would your relationship look like if your spouse had control over your body?  Give up?  It would look strange, uncommon.  That’s exactly where we want to be.  You see normal people don’t want to allow anyone to control them, not their parents, not a spouse, not even God, Himself.  Normal people desire to be in control, but the uncommon relinquish it.

How can we accomplish this?  We must relinquish control and give it to our spouse.
I bet that would cut out some arguments.
I bet that would eliminate some disappoint.
I bet that would remove some dissatisfaction.
You see this isn’t “normal” stuff and that’s the reason why I share it, here exclusively, at  A marriage, a relationship, has problems when the wrong person is in control of you.  When you control you, you will have relationship problems, but when you allow your spouse to control you, the relationship problems go away.  Let me say that again.
When you [put your name here] control you [name],
you [name] will have relationship problems,
but when you [name] allow your spouse [insert name] to control you [name],
the relationship problems go away.  Now tweet that!

Why is This Uncommon Practice Necessary?

I am saying this for your benefit, not to place restrictions on you. I want you to do whatever will help you serve the Lord best, with as few distractions as possible. – ‭‭1 Corinthians‬ ‭7:35‬ ‭NLT‬‬

At the end of the day our goal should be to remove distractions.  We have work to do, we have gifts to perfect and a difference to make.  Having a spouse, being married, isn’t intended to be a distraction or slow you down.  Its purpose is to remove the burdens and distractions that hinder you from your calling which serves God.

Marriage is a gift and that gift is not to restrict you, but benefit you so that you can do what only you can do best.  Be that unique, uncommon, gifted person God created you to be.  Leave a comment below or click here to email me.

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