Ordinary in a Marriage Isn’t Enough – Part 1
Today we begin to discuss the most common of relationships, marriage – the relationship that consists of only you and him/her, two people. The Bible says for this reason [a relationship like this] a man will leave [all that he knows] mother and father to be with this one person. Is it not strange that two people will go through all the trouble of getting married? Not hardly, because a relationship like this is meant to be great. But why are these relationships failing today?
My half and your half
Common marriages are made up of people who believe in the 50/50 rule. You’ve heard and so have I, the best relationship advice on the planet says a relationship is 50/50. Add half-n-half to any relationship and that cup of romance will be perfect. “A marriage should be 50/50.” It takes each person putting in their 50% to make it work. And oh did we fall for that. [I haven’t been to the left in a while, so here I go.] You know what the 50/50 rule produced? It produced marriages that ended in divorce 50% of the time. Now that’s funny and you know it. By the way, that’s a fact. So the 50/50 rule, although typical, is not working which means “ordinary” even in a relationship is no longer enough.
Two halves don’t always make a whole
Let’s further evaluate this 50/50 crap. If you take half an orange and someone gives you another half of an orange, you can conclude that you now have a whole orange. What if you have half an apple and someone gave you half an orange, you do know you will never have a whole apple or orange with this combination? So what in the world, makes human-beings think that if you have a half of a man and add in a half of a woman, you will get a whole man and a whole woman? You may not want to say this with your spouse nearby, but half a man these days just won’t do. In many case, a whole ain’t good enough. What kind of a man wants a half of a woman? That’s exactly what you get in a 50/50 relationship -people giving you half of who they are. 50% is a failing grade in school. A score of 50% on your job is failing and 50% in marriage is a failing score. Normal is the marriage that’s flunking.
Anything short of 100% won’t work
In the book, you’re helping me write, “The 16 Levels of Love“, I need you to understand why the book is necessary. For this reason, over the next couple weeks we’re discussing marriages and the effects “common” has had on them. Back on topic, even if you had a whole woman (a 100% one) and a whole man in a relationship, but don’t know what love is, you still have major issues. Now take half of a man and half a woman who don’t really know what love is; what in the world could you possibly have? What kind of mess does that produce? You already know, a “common” one.
It’s my job to help you see that ordinary anywhere isn’t enough. To have an uncommon relationship, 100% from both parties is the only way for the relationship to succeed. I must be, you must be, 100% of a man to have a better than normal marriage. You must be, I must be a 100% woman to have an uncommon relationship. The point is this, you can’t rely on a spouse to make you complete. That’s the job of God. When we rely on our spouse to make us 100%, we’ve done our spouse a disservice. We’ve set them up for failure. We’ve asked them to do something that God wouldn’t ask them to do.
Since 50% of a person has been proven to no longer be enough, 100% of a person is the only way to go. What can you do to be 100% you for the sake of your relationship-your marriage? Leave me a comment or send me an email. Click here.