Rejected and Alone

A Season of Loneliness – Part 2

Rejected and Alone

We will do almost anything to be accepted by our peers, by our friends and by our family. In many cases we will even change who we are to be included, liked, and accepted. What we are really doing in order to become accepted is being common to those around us. We want others to like us so badly that we’ll give up our unique qualities to “put on” qualities that we think others would like-have in common. We fake it. Yes, you’ve heard it said, “fake it until you make”. Fake it until you’re accepted as common, ordinary and normal.

When you sow rejection, you reap rejection.

Being someone you’re not is a disguise we use to protect us from feeling rejected. Not accepting others for who they are is the same as sowing rejection. A common behavior is to reject those who are not like us. Rejecting them is about the same as rejecting God. You may be thinking that’s a stretch, but is it considering He made them, He loves them, and He planned for them.

To be uncommon, would mean finding something to like about everyone you meet. This is a principle I live by. I go around looking for a unique quality in everyone I have the opportunity to speak with. In other words, I look for what makes a person unlike me.

Feeling like you’re alone becomes worse during tragedy.
Statistics indicate that every human will experience 5 or more major life altering events. I’ll name a few I’ve heard and researched in the past:

Death of a loved one. We may feel as if our loved one abandoned us too soon.
Divorce. We may feel abandoned and left alone in life.
Moving or relocating. We feel as if we don’t know anyone and are all alone.
Major illness. We feel as if no one else is experiencing the same and why did this happen to me.
Job loss. We feel as if our world as we know it is coming to an end.
Child birth or family addition. We feel as if the focus is taken off of us and loneliness sets in.
Trial or legal battles. We feel as if we’ve been targeted and everyone is out to get us.

During these events, our senses are heightened and loneliness can result at its highest intensity. Loneliness and rejection are a sign of not being connected to God. It says I’m only thinking about myself. It’s selfishness at its greatest which is the opposite of love. And if you didn’t know, God is love. He is equal to love. And the opposition of love is not hate; it’s selfishness.

Rejection is like compounding interest.

The way it works is with small deposits you make over time. The effects of rejection begin to grow and compound exponentially with the passing of time.
What I learned in preparing this message is that the results seen from rejection didn’t occur all from one incident. It takes many small deposits. Let me give you a couple examples:

Tamia, our daughter, says daddy will you play with me. When I say “no” it’s a deposit in the baggage she carries called “rejection”. That one “no” didn’t do it all on its own. But continual deposits of “no” will have devastating effects years from now if I don’t make rejection withdrawals.

When you’re passed over for a promotion in the office, that rejection didn’t occur when the person who was selected got the promotion you wanted. The rejection occurred every day by the actions you took or in many cases didn’t take. It was a compounding result based on the deposits you made one day after another.

Rejection can be useful.

Don’t fool yourself, you want others to stand with you. When you start to feel rejection set in, open up to someone you can trust. Don’t just carry the baggage around with you. It’s invisible and no one knows or sees it until it becomes too late. Don’t do what normal people do. When you see others being rejected, go in and let them know they’re are not alone. Consider it a seed sown in your own life towards the withdrawal of rejections from your very own rejection bank. Be uncommon!

Explore Other Great Resources and Content on this Topic:

Loneliness: Most Common Emotional Pain
Alone and Feeling Rejected (2 Timothy‬ ‭4:16-17‬)