The Missing Component to the Marriage Equation

Marriage is a Gift – Part 2

In a post I wrote called, “3 Points About Love that Don’t Come Naturally“, I painted the thought in your mind that God is love and that love is a being and not a feeling.  Since this is the case, that means a marriage without love would equal this equation:
Marriage = Him + Her

Seems like the typical definition of a marriage, wouldn’t you say?  I think so, but you all know how I feel about the typical, common and ordinary.  It’s not enough!  I know that this combination alone, Him + Her,  won’t produce a successful marriage.  If that’s all it took, we would have way more successful marriages.  So with that said, what’s missing?  Love is missing-that third piece needed to move a relationship from normal to uncommon or extraordinary.
Marriage = Him + God + Her
When two people decide to rely on each other, what it says is that they are relying on a person who on their best day can’t be perfect.  We’re flawed by default and we make mistakes more often than we’d admit.  The point is you’re banking on someone who is going to fall short of your expectations and will never measure up to the standards you’d hope for, at least not on their own.  But what if there was a solution you knew nothing about?  Would you be interested?  Sure you would, because you, even in your relationships, desire to be successful.

You have the equation all wrong.  What marriage equals is missing a component.  Instead of connecting yourself directly to a person, it would be more helpful if there was a go-between, someone in the middle of it all.

“For there is one God and one Mediator between God and men, the Man Christ Jesus,” – ‭‭I Timothy‬ ‭2:5‬ ‭NKJV‬‬

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Even in your relationship with God, you’re given a mediator or a go between.  How much more do two people need to follow this example?  Why a go-between?  Well it keeps you safe even when you don’t measure up.  You need a friend when the one who judges you wants to sentence you to the punishment you’re due.  Therefore, marriage must equal Her + God + Him.  You need to be connected to God who is connected to your spouse.  In this uncommon relationship, now all the pressure is on God and not a fallible human-being.  Place the accountability of your spouse in the hands of the one who made them.  Then you won’t be tempted to carry their burden which is a load you were never meant to carry.

Marriage <> Her + Him
Let me say this again.  You really don’t desire a relationship that goes wrong.  However, if you depend on two people not to error, stumble or fall on their own, then you’re already headed for defeat.  No one is perfect nor will they ever be, the best option is to have them covered; so that when they fall, they have a way to get back up and have the best chance of having a successful relationship and marriage.  When love (God) is removed from this equation, disappointment, hurt, abuse and even pain are inevitable.  I don’t have to do a lot to convince you of this, because most of us have fallen victim to relationships that were missing God from the equation.

I simply want to remind you that if you’re disappointed, lacking or feel incomplete in your relationship or marriage, you need to check the equation.  Maybe your equation is out of balance.

Question:  What can you do to restore balance (Love) to your marriage? Leave a comment below or click here to email me.