Level 9 – Love Doesn’t Keep Score

The 16 Levels of Love – Part 10

Are you a record-keeper?  Do you know what I mean by that question?  What I mean by the question is are you holding on to the memory of when someone wronged you and storing it as a record in the mental file you have with their name on it?  Couples do this all the time. They will keep a mental record of what bothered them and hold those actions against their spouse.  Obviously, we can all see that this could create a problem, but the problem is…this is the only solution available to get back at them.   Herein lies the problem, why do we want to get back at them?  This normal habit is the ultimate problem and leads me to the 9th level in the book, I’m calling, The 16 Levels of Love.  Level nine holds the key to love that keeps no records of wrongs.  Love is being wronged, forgiving the wrong, and immediately erasing the wrong from memory.

Love keeps no record of wrongs; being wronged.  Doesn’t keep score of the sins of others.

The key to understanding “love that keeps no record of wrong” is to define “record”.  

Record: stored information; something that was recorded or kept for later use.

When you record something, the purpose is to go back and use it or view it at a later time.  It’s meant to make sure you can go back to it when needed.

How often are you keeping a record of when someone does you wrong?  Here’s a good question: do you keep record of when someone does you right?  That answer is “no” because that’s not normal.  Normal people don’t keep a record of the good that happens to them by another.  That’s not worth holding.   What kind of love would rather hold on to the wrongs and sins of another rather than the good deeds and favor that they’ve been shown?

Level-nine: Love is being wronged, forgiving the wrong, and immediately erasing the wrong from memory.
Now we are getting into the levels of love that seem very unfamiliar because we rarely experience this type of love in normal settings.  Level-nine love goes beyond what normal, average, ordinary people can give.  Let’s take a closer look.

Love keeps no record of wrongs.
When you love, you don’t get to keep a record of being wronged.  You can’t go back to the personnel files of those you love and bring up the things they did wrong.  You don’t get to remind them of their dirt or dirty laundry.  Rather, you know what you get to do?  The only thing you can do is bring up the good.  Level-nine love says you don’t have anything wrong to talk about only everything that’s good.  

Love doesn’t keep score of the sins of others.
When you love, you don’t get to place your opponent, the recipient of your love, in check because they sinned against you.  You know what you get to do?  You get to turn off the scoreboard.  The scoreboard in the game of love for counting the sin score is broken. There is no scoring.  So when people ask you why you remain faithfully in love with someone who wronged you, you can say I’m not keeping score!  Love doesn’t have a scoreboard for my loved one’s sins.
(Wow, if that didn’t put me in check! #16LevelsOfLove)

Level-nine’s Opposite
So what would the opposite of level-nine love look like?  Let’s review a few keeping-the-record indicators:

  • Do you recall the small injustices against your spouse?
  • What are you holding over their head?  A lie?  An affair?  An addiction?  What is it?
  • Are there things from the past that you’re holding on to?  Did they do something in high-school that you’re still reminding them about?  
  • What’s that one thing that they will never be able to make up to you?

If and when you have answers to these questions, you have a file with records that need to be emptied or deleted.  What you’re saying by having this file is… I don’t really love you, I’ve just been pretending.  Love holds no record of wrongs!

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Having Level-nine Love
Common: In common relationships, people make it a practice of keeping records of wrongs.
I think we have an invisible journal.  Who’s not keeping record of what their spouse has done? Those persons that are not normal wouldn’t have a record. Love isn’t for normal people.  Love isn’t normal.

Uncommon (or No-longer-common): In an uncommon relationship, when a wrong occurs, it’s dealt with, forgiven and immediately erased from the file, the record is clean.
The uncommon get rid of all the record holders, file cabinets and containers.  Look at it this way, what if you’re the one who did wrong, how would you want to be treated?  


I am enjoying these 16 levels of love.  It’s teaching me, us, a lesson on how being ordinary isn’t enough when it comes to love.  Normal won’t do.  Average isn’t cutting it.  Just the exposure alone will challenge us to go to the next level (level nine).  The next level affords us the opportunity to have short-term memory and by doing so, you place yourself in a win-win situation.  It’s what level-nine love is all about. 

Guess what?  It’s that time.  Insert your name into the life-changing, uncommon phrase that follows:
<Your name> is keeping no record of wrongs.  I no longer keep track or score of the sins of others.

Question: What one big wrong-record are you holding against someone you love?  Tell us about it, write it on a piece of paper, and once done destroy the page.  Leave me your thoughts or comments below.

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