The 16 Levels of Love – Part 6
I realized something. “Normal, natural, common” starts so early it’s almost invisible. It’s in plain sight but never seen. Today, I want to show you something that’s there, but we’re unable to see it.
If you have children this example will have a deeper mean, but even if you don’t you’ll get it. There are just some things you never have to teach your children. When we see a certain characteristics in children, we make the excuse that these behaviors are okay because they’re natural. A child who is selfish, a baby who thinks only of his/her own needs, this is normal. It’s rare to see a child who’d rather their parents eat first before they place food in their own mouths. It’s rare to see a child who’s more concerned about their parents needs and desires. That’s rare. Can we also conclude that it’s uncommon?
A child’s self-centeredness is common, but that doesn’t mean it’s a good thing. If it were, we would not have the directives (from The Bible) to teach and train a child in the ways of life that they should go. This implies that ordinary is not enough, they need, we need training to deliver us from common. There’s a form of this self-centeredness that goes with us and grows with us. It’s called “pride”. Level-five love is making others the center and taking self out of the picture. It’s similar to level-four love, but the major difference is this. Level-four is boasting on others and level-five is making others the center of everything.
The key to understanding this level of love is to provide a definition for the word “proud”.
Proud: self-satisfying, self-important image, thinking of self more than anything else; the opposite of humility.
When you think of a humble person, you see an image of someone who thinks of another before thinking of themselves. The opposite is “pride”. You think of self before ever thinking of others.
Level-five: Love is making others the center. Taking self out of the image.
How often do you insert yourself in the story? If you’re the storyteller, how often are you tempted to insert something you did into the story? When your spouse does something great, what piece do you credit to yourself? Do you feel left out when you don’t get the credit when you were involved? Does your name always have to be called? If these describe you, you need to get off the elevator at level 5. You need to see what making others the center is all about. By the way, this nasty, ordinary habit begins at birth and goes unseen through life. But today because you can now see it, you will be able to do (what ordinary people don’t) something about it.
Love it is not proud.
Love is not proud. “Proud” is the number one characteristic of selfishness, love’s opposite. If love is not proud, then love is humble. Instead of being self-satisfied, it’s others-satisfied. It makes others important and self less-important. “Proud” is that thing in plain sight but rarely seen by oneself. Love is not proud!
Love doesn’t have a swelled head.
I like this one. Do you know what a swelled head is? Do you know someone with a swelled head? Do you know that person who thinks nothing they do ever stinks or is wrong? Could that be you? Are you too good to be true? A swelled head leaves you with no room for improvement. There’s no time or room to see our shortcomings or flaws. Love is not that person. Love is the person who intentionally reduces the size of their head. That’s what love does for another. Love shows that you are more important than me.
In each post, I like to give you a few indicators to show or demonstrate that you could be operating in level-five’s opposite (normal). Here are four “proud” indicators for you to take a look at:
- Are you unwilling to ask for help?
- Do you think no one is good enough to help you?
- Is your way better than everyone else’s?
- Do you look down on others?
Did any of this hit you in the gut? Don’t feel bad; feel terrible; it’s what “normal” people do. Are you beginning to see why it’s not okay to be or settle for being “normal”. You deserve better than normal and so does the person you refer to as the most important person in your world.
Having Level-Five Love
Common or having the opposite of level-five love (even though you can’t see it) is when you place your feelings at the center. It’s when you care more about how you feel than the recipient of your love. In this way, you’re saying everything must please you, even though with your lips you say otherwise. Sounds pretty selfish to me; what do you think? Normal is no longer enough; it never was.
Now for the uncommon. I love finding this stuff; it’s why NoLongerCommon.com exists. Uncommon is taking the reverse actions of what we commonly do. If we normally place our feelings first, then to be uncommon means to place someone else’s feelings first or above our own. It’s just that simple. My spouse comes first. What if that were true? It’s not because it’s not normal. It sounds to me like we need a new normal.
If you don’t get it yet, stay with us we have more available for you here at Nolongercommon.com. But for now, say this with me.
Insert your name in this phrase. <Your name> is not proud. I place those I love at the center of my world.
Question: What’s the one change you can make today to make yourself second to the most important person in your world? Leave me your thoughts or comments below.