The 16 Levels of Love – Part 3
Just like any new place, the excitement of seeing what’s next or what lies around the corner is extremely compelling. Curiosity will lead you away from where you are, level-one-love, to see what’s available on level two. You could spend hours, even days on level one (never ending patience) learning and enjoying what patience has to afford you, but because seeing what’s next excites you, you move on.
Level-two: Love is Kind
Love without kindness isn’t love at all.
As before, to grasp a better understating let’s see how Webster’s defines the word, kind.
Kind: good nature or disposition; considerate; helpful; mild; gentle
Does this definition remind you of those who love you? On level two, you’ll see that love is good-natured. To be loved, your significant other shows their good nature towards you. By this definition, love is demonstrated by a person’s good nature. They are always on their best behavior, looking for ways to be good to you. How about that? What would your life be like if the one who loves you were good-natured?
What would happen if the one you say you loved experienced your good nature? Would they enjoy your company? Would they forever want to be in your presence?
To be loved means you’re helpful. You see I thought the person who loved me didn’t need my help, they were simply there just to help me. To show level-two-love means that I’m helpful to the one I say I love. To be loved means, you’re gentle. To love means, you’re mild. To love means, you’re kind.
Insert your name in this phrase while I’m thinking about. <Your name> is kind. Wow!
Now let’s take a look at some of the “kindness” identifiers you’ll see posted on level-two.
- How do you speak to each other? Are your words to your spouse kind? Is their ways back towards you kind?
- How do you address your significant other? Does the way your significant other greet you display kindness? Does your salutation speak kindness?
- How do you greet people you don’t like? Think of the ways you interact with people you don’t like. Do you interact with the persons you love in the same manner…even if at times?
- How do you speak to people when you have a deadline? What pressures do you place on your loved one when you have a deadline? Does the message send kind words?
- What is your tone of voice like? (I’m learning the hard way that tone means everything.) Are you communicating with a “kind” tone?
- How are your phone, text and email responses? I personally love email, but do my/your electronic messages speak more “kind” words when you communicate with others?
- Does your kindness result in you overlooking something or confronting something?
- Do you go “out of your way” to help your spouse? Love is “kind”.
In writing the 16 levels of love, I found that stating what something isn’t is more impacting than stating what it is. Follow me and see what I mean below:
- Love is not unpleasant.
- Love is not inconsiderate.
- Love is not unhelpful.
- It is not rough, harsh.
I wish I had time to pick apart each of the above level-two-opposites, but I don’t. The point is this. You have more than likely experienced level-two’s opposites more than you have the characteristics of level-two-love. Those who have said they love you, have been unpleasant, inconsiderate, unhelpful, rough, and harsh with you. Let me say this as bluntly as I can (going to the left). They did not/do not love you! And if you give someone else these attributes, then you don’t love them. You don’t know what love is! Stay with me if you can handle it.
Having Level-Two Love
Common is when I use love as an exemption card to not be “kind” to the recipient of my love. Common, normal, natural is having an excuse to be unpleasant, inconsiderate, and unhelpful to the person you love or at least, say you love. By the way, regardless of what you might be thinking, love won’t let you get away with that. Love can only produce more love. Kindness can only produce more kindness. We’re talking about level-two love, love is kind.
Now for the uncommon. You know how this works, the name of this website is no longer common for this reason. How can we be no longer common? As it relates to this post, how can we no longer display level-two’s opposites. Love without kindness is not love at all. If I were you and I really loved someone, I’d begin to practice “kindness”. Anything you practice only gets better with time. Stop practicing level-two-love’s opposites just because it’s normal. Do what normal people don’t so that you can have the results normal people don’t.
You might be feeling that after visiting level-one and level-two that you’re flunking the love test. Well hang tight and don’t feel bad yet, we have 14 more levels to tackle. These two levels may be exposing that you’re not doing a good job at loving. I hope it shows that you don’t know what love is and gives you what you need to begin loving, for-real.