Are You Pretending to Love Him or Her? – Part 1
Have you ever wondered (after being in a relationship for a while) what happened to the love you once had? This is a question many ponder day after day. It seems like at the beginning of a relationship there’s an abundance of the stuff, but as time passes it doesn’t get replenished. Rather it fades slowly away. So I did some deep thinking and research about “this love” that seems to be fleeting. And here’s what I’ve concluded…that’s “normal”. I guess you knew I’d say something like that. Stay with me because knowing that is the key to solving the problem of “fleeting love”. This post would be totally different if this experience was uncommon.
My first source when I research is always The Bible. I like The Bible because it has everything you need in it. As we write about the “16 Levels of Love”, we need to clarify why such a book is needed in the 1st place. I think this post sheds the most light into the why. Allow me to explain using this verse from The Bible.
“Don’t just pretend to love others. Really love them. Hate what is wrong. Hold tightly to what is good. Love each other with genuine affection, and take delight in honoring each other.” – Romans 12:9-10 NLT
“Don’t just pretend to love others. Really love them.”
When The Bible gives guidance, instructions, commands or rules such as this, what it is saying is that this is a different type of behavior than what’s normal. “Normal” is pretending to love another. Pretending is what people do when they don’t know something, haven’t been trained or have very little experience to offer. [Let me go to the left.] When you don’t know what love is, do you know what you do? Pretend! You will say all the right words and gestures. But today you’re getting exposed. I often say “you can’t say you love me, love is an action!” Stop pretending! Pretending is “normal” and everybody does it!
Put God on Display
Let me remind you that love isn’t words it’s God. Love is the act of putting God on display for another. Let me explain using the verse above. If “normal” is pretending, “uncommon” would mean stop pretending. So who can we look to (that’s not “normal”) to show us how not to pretend. I offer God. I don’t know of any other place we can go that can get us outside of “normal”. If you want to continue to have the relationships you’ve always had continue to do it the way everyone else has always done it. If you want a relationship that very few have, you must do the stuff that very few are doing. Put God on display. Let displaying God be the focus of your relationships.
Question: Are you guilty of pretending to love? If so, how so? Leave me a comment.
You don’t want to miss our next post which continues with this thought, but I give examples on how to turn a “normal” relationship into one that blows your mind.