How to Find the Best in Everyone You Meet (And Stop Judging People)
Finding the Best in Everyone We Meet
What’s the first reaction you have when you meet someone new?
It’s no surprise we place such a strong emphasis on making great first impressions. We dress ourselves up, share our best stories, and try to present the best version of our lives. But while we’re focused on how others see us, we often overlook how we see them.
Because if we’re honest, our first reaction isn’t always positive.
Why We Naturally Focus on the Negative
Common finds the negatives, the “what I don’t like” about a person. Common thinking looks for what it doesn’t like. Finding the negative in a person is easy. Most people develop an automatic response system that quickly identifies flaws:
- I don’t like her attitude
- I hate his shoes
- Why does she wear her hair that way?
- What was he thinking when he got dressed?
At times, I’ve been guilty of this myself. It’s the normal, negative response system we’ve all learned.
I remember one Sunday after leaving an early service, I saw two guys heading in for the next one. My first thought was not about their decision to show up—it was about what they chose to wear. My wife quickly reminded me, “At least they’re going to church.”
That moment revealed something important:
We naturally lean toward seeing and saying what is common in people.
There Are Unique Differences in Everyone
The reason differences stand out so quickly is that they are unlike what we see in ourselves. When we notice something different, it sticks out—but only to us. Someone else may see that same trait and appreciate it. That’s because we were all created to be unique.
Yet, society trains us to do the opposite—to reject differences and reward sameness.
We see this in sexism, racism, and even how we treat giftedness or disability. Culture works hard to make “average” attractive.
But the truth is, just like fingerprints, no two people are the same. You were designed to be different. Is it so surprising to know that you were designed to be unlike anyone else on the planet, or in history, for that matter? It’s what makes you, what God calls you, a masterpiece.
How to Use Uniqueness to Your Advantage
Understanding that we are all created differently changes how we see people. It means it’s okay if others don’t fully understand you. It’s okay if they don’t always agree with you. That doesn’t make you wrong—it makes you unique. This realization helped me shift my perspective.
Instead of seeing people as problems, I began to see them as gifts. Every person carries something valuable—something worth discovering.
The goal then becomes simple:
find the gift in every person you meet.
How to Find the Best in Everyone You Meet
Finding the good in people doesn’t happen automatically—it takes effort. Like anything else, it’s a skill that must be developed. At first, it may feel difficult. You may even think of someone and say, “There’s no way that person has anything good to offer.” But the truth is, you may just have to dig for it.
Every person has a gift. It may not be obvious. It may not be on the surface. But it’s there. And sometimes, they don’t even see it themselves.
Common vs. No-Longer-Common
Common: Looks for flaws and focuses on what’s wrong.
No-Longer-Common: Looks for the gift and focuses on what’s right.
Common: Judges quickly.
No-Longer-Common: Seeks to understand and uncover value.
Common: Reacts based on differences.
No-Longer-Common: Embraces differences as design.
A New Way to See People
For years, I’ve practiced something simple: Every time I meet someone, I look for the good. I look for the best in that person.
Because if I don’t find their gift, it’s almost like I never really met them. I don’t just want to meet people—I want to help draw out the masterpiece God created them to be.
No-Longer-Common Thought
If you don’t look for the good in people, you’ll only see what’s missing.
You don’t have to keep seeing people the way you’ve always seen them. You can train your mind to look beyond flaws and discover value. And when you do, your relationships—at home, at work, and everywhere else—begin to change.
Challenge:
Leave a comment and share one unique gift you recognize in yourself—or someone else.
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