Ten Ways to Go From an Average Dad to an Extraordinary One
I thought it would be a great idea to take a look at ten characteristics of an exceptional father. To do this I have researched ten characteristics of an ordinary father so that we have the base-line to becoming an uncommon father. I’d like to make this web-post simple and sweet, yet manly, so let’s just get right to it.
- An uncommon dad rarely loses his temper.
“People with understanding control their anger; a hot temper shows great foolishness.” – bible.com/bible/116/PRO.14.29.NLT
If an uncommon dad rarely loses his temper that means an average dad loses his temper often. The conclusion is that he lacks understanding of his child. When a dad takes the time to understand, get to know, and spend time cultivating his child’s gifts, this understanding brings control to his anger towards that which he would not have understood.
- An uncommon dad uses more than physical disciplinary tactics.
“No discipline is enjoyable while it is happening—it’s painful! But afterward there will be a peaceful harvest of right living for those who are trained in this way.” – bible.com/bible/116/HEB.12.11.NLT
The average dad uses physical discipline as his primary go to. He fails to realize that there are many ways of disciplining. Until as a dad, one learns more ways to discipline their children other than physically, then one will never see the full results of the best training for my child.
- An uncommon father is consistent.
“Jesus Christ [the uncommon One] is the same yesterday, today, and forever.” – bible.com/bible/116/HEB.13.8.NLT
An ordinary father is inconsistent. His family, which includes his children, find him to waiver, to second guess, and vacillate in all he does. You see Jesus Christ is the ultimate example for us all and today especially for the fathers. If average, ordinary, normal, was the person who is consistent then there’d be no need for the scripture to define this as a characteristic of Jesus Christ…
The same yesterday.
The same today.
The same tomorrow.
The same forever.
This is the model for an uncommon father.
- An uncommon father rewards good behavior.
“He will judge everyone according to what they have done.” – bible.com/bible/116/ROM.2.6.NLT
An average father uses bribes to persuade his children. You know what a bribe is? It’s something given or promised beforehand to obtain a desired outcome. While this sounds okay, it simply means you’re normal. It’s not the behavior you induce that should be rewarded, but the behavior that is learned and displayed without persuasion that should be rewarded.
- An uncommon father connects consequences to actions.
“Don’t be misled—you cannot mock the justice of God. You will always harvest what you plant. Those who live only to satisfy their own sinful nature will harvest decay and death from that sinful nature. But those who live to please the Spirit will harvest everlasting life from the Spirit. So let’s not get tired of doing what is good. At just the right time we will reap a harvest of blessing if we don’t give up.” – bible.com/bible/116/GAL.6.7-9.NLT
A common dad leaves his children in a state with unconnected consequences for their actions. Is what you’re doing connecting consequences to actions or are the consequences being disconnected from their actions? A father must be aware of what consequences are being mapped to his children’s actions. For example, is your child about to play you against his/her mother? While being a friend or being likable to your children might seem right, the consequences that such behavior produces are consequences that are unconnected or unintended.
- An uncommon dad is a partner in parenting.
“Treat your wife with understanding as you live together. She may be weaker than you are, but she is your equal partner in God’s gift of new life.” – bible.com/bible/116/1PE.3.7.NLT
As a partner in parenting, a father must consider that because he is a partner with mom and that his actions must align in favor with mom. Most ordinary dad’s aren’t even aware that they are parents and leave the parenting to mom alone.
- An uncommon father has a defined role.
“Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger by the way you treat them. Rather, bring them up with the discipline and instruction that comes from the Lord.” – bible.com/bible/116/EPH.6.4.NLT
An ordinary dad blurs the lines between being a parent and being his child’s friend. This results in the child confusing the roles. As a dad, I am not my child’s friend. I’d never lower my position in my child’s life to that of a friend. My role is father. Because ordinary human beings make it seem like a child can’t enjoy being with their father, they try to be a friend. This happens when a man has no clue as to how to be a dad which too is common. Only an ordinary, average person would attempt both roles and the negative results of such behavior become evident in the near future.
- An uncommon dad does not need to resort to imposing guilt upon their child.
“For godly grief produces a repentance that leads to salvation without regret, whereas worldly grief produces death.” – bible.com/bible/59/2CO.7.10.ESV
Unlike an average dad who imposes guilt, an uncommon dad teaches his child how to change their ways for the better. On the contrary, ordinary behavior for a dad is to impose guilt upon their child in the hopes to get them to go in the way they desire for them to go. This action leads a child to going down an undesirable path.
- An uncommon father is a teacher to his children.
“Write these commandments that I’ve given you today on your hearts. Get them inside of you and then get them inside your children. Talk about them wherever you are, sitting at home or walking in the street; talk about them from the time you get up in the morning to when you fall into bed at night.” – bible.com/bible/97/DEU.6.6-9.MSG
Normal dads lecture. You know what lecturing is? Lecturing says I don’t care if you want to learn it or not; you’re going to get this lesson anyway.
The uncommon father is a teacher. He’s not a teacher until the student has shown up for the lesson. In other words, an uncommon father knows how to get his students, his children, to show up with a desire to hear from him.
- An uncommon dad identifies the gifts within his child.
“Pay careful attention to your own work, for then you will get the satisfaction of a job well done, and you won’t need to compare yourself to anyone else.” – bible.com/bible/116/GAL.6.4.NLT
You see, an ordinary dad looks upon the abilities of another’s child and wishes his child had their gift. How devastating can this be as a child? Being forced to be good at something that you are not and neglecting the very thing that you are.
The uncommon dad is a master of placing his attention on his own work so that he doesn’t need to compare himself to another and he teaches his children this same uncommon habit.
I hope you enjoyed reading these ten characteristics of an uncommon father. This Father’s Day I wanted to do my part in pointing the dad’s to next-level steps by revealing these ten areas we naturally fall prey to being common. Happy Father’s Day to all the uncommon father’s out there!
Question: What will it take for you to go from being an average dad to an extraordinary father?
For the ladies viewing this post, thanks for viewing. Do me a favor and share this with all the father’s you’re wishing happy Father’s Day to today.