The Relationship that Enslaves

Performance Based Relationships – Part 1

Anytime your performance is used as a way of measuring relationships, you are a slave to that relationship and to that other party.  What do you think I mean by “performance”?  It’s when you’re required to behave, respond, and act like your significant other envisions.  If only he/she could read your mind; they might get that right.  In essences, it boils down to expectations.

The Unmet Expectations
The problem with expectations is that most of the things we’re expected to do are not told to us nor have they been revealed to us.  Expectations are a big problem when they go unmet.  You can imagine being disappointed in a relationship because your significant other didn’t perform the way you had envisioned.  You desired one type response, but got something totally different.  The result was attitude.  You grew upset and blamed your spouse or loved one for something they didn’t know they had done.  By the way, this is “common”.

If you think it isn’t, let’s do a little test.  Think back to the last time you were upset or disappointed by your significant other or spouse.  Now ask them were they upset for the same reason you were.  This will require you to come clean with your feelings and, more than likely, the 2 of you won’t be able to agree on the incident.  This too is “common”.

“The one who states his case first seems right, until the other comes and examines him.”

The Relationship That Enslaves
Performance based relationships actually enslave you.  You are bound by the other party.  It makes you a slave.  Imagine that, a relationship where love abounds, is a relationship that makes you a slave.  Now that’s a true oxymoron.  There “ain’t no” love in that relationship.  Love, whether you know it or not, frees.  It doesn’t restrict.  I think you need to visit my fictional “Tower of Love” in the book we’re writing called, The 16 Levels of Love.   If you think love controls, restricts and makes slaves of others, you’ve been fooled.  You’ve been made… “common”.   In a relationship like that you will always have to perform to the requirements and standards of another.  When your performance doesn’t add up to their standards, repercussions are made and that’s slavery.  Don’t be a slave to a relationship.  Get rid of any performance based relationships today.

Develop real relationships that add value, add strength, add stability and are not creating bondage for you.  You have the right to be something other than ordinary.  So, you have the right to have an uncommon relationship; why not?

Question: Why would someone who says they love you make a slave out of you?  Leave us a comment.

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