Restoring Honor to a Father

Reinstating Honor

We all know that Father’s Day is the day dedicated to honoring the fathers in our life. This notion can bring some joy, but it can also bring some pain. Because most of us have a father, many may not or may not have them present in his or her life. On another side of the conversation regarding fathers, it has become normal, natural, and commonplace to dishonor fathers or dishonor people altogether. Being that it’s commonly seen, what does it look like to dishonor? It’s finding the negative, identifying the wrong, bringing up the bad, uncovering the dirt, and discovering the things that go against us. Now that I hear that, it is pretty common.

Let’s talk more about dishonor for a moment. Before we get to honor, dishonor is one of those selfish acts. That means we think more about ourselves and how something impacts us than we do about the other person involved. Dishonor is a loveless act. To explain it more, love doesn’t have the ability to look at things in a negative light. In fact, when acting in love, it says one would ignore what’s negative, so that one can see what’s positive.

How can we put a father on display?
Honor on the other hand, which is an act of love, says we’re going to see what’s positive in a person regardless of how active or inactive a person is. Honor says we are going to find value in them, even if it means we have to dig for it. Therefore…
The objective of Father’s Day is to find something of value.
The objective of Father’s Day is to dig for something positive and focus on that.
To be even more clear, honoring means to hold up in value, to put the value on display similar to how we display jewelry. How can we hold up someone in value? How can we find the value in another person? How can we put a father on display?

• Forget about what your Father has not done.
  When we start to focus on what someone has not done for us, we forget to look at what a person has done for us. It is easy to look at what a person has not done, what we wish they should have done, or how they could have been and forget what they have done. In fact a close friend of ours shares a common belief with us that our parents have done the best that they could. Under their set of circumstances, they did what was best. When you live from this perspective, it becomes easier to forget what wasn’t done and the view of what they have done comes into focus.
  
• Find value in the ones who have done.
  Now let’s transition to this concept which can be answered by asking this question: what value do we actually get from a father? What defines a father in your life? What is the ideal father that you wish to have or wish to have had in your life? If you made a list of fatherly values, what would be on your list? What would be at the top of your list for a dad?
  Would it be leadership? That would be at the top of my list. Does my dad demonstrate leadership for me?
  How about godliness? Does my dad represent godliness and righteousness in my life?
  Is my dad a hard worker? My dad is a hard worker. That would be like number 3 on my list. My dad represents a person who works hard. The next one is really, really good.
  Is my dad a fighter? Does my ideal description of a Father include him being a fighter? When he gets knocked down, he gets back up.
  What values do you look for? When you hear the word Father? What comes to your mind? If you don’t have an idea of what that means? That means we don’t know what to look for when it comes to what makes a father. That’s natural, that’s normal.

What values do we get from a father?
In order to get beyond natural and normal thinking, we must first be able to identify these ideals in dad or the father in our life. Let me give you three options or steps that we can take to restore honor in the person we call our father.

1. Let’s get healed from our wounds.
   This world, our society is conditioned with a view of a father as if a father is almost irrelevant. We need to be healed from that. In fact, the reason it’s so prevalent in our society is because the lack of a father is quite damaging. Its impacts are shouting out from every corner and every walk of life. We need to be healed from the absence of fathers in our life. Therefore, instead of trying to rely on an absent blood-father that may not show up in your life, find a father who can be in your life and wants to be in your life. Find a mentor, a leader, a person who can be a father to you. Everyone needs a father just like everyone needs a mother who supplies the values we mentioned above. We’ve seen such a deficiency in fathers that the need is overwhelming whether we wish to admit it or not. You see, our mothers have been there. Mothers are prevalent. Mothers are always there, but our fathers have gone missing in many cases. Find one at all costs. Find you a good father and get healed from the wounds that come from not having one.
   
2. Find a father; be a father.
   Let me say it another way. After you have found a father, now it’s your turn to be a father. Of course, I’m speaking to the guys more so than the ladies, but ladies can help in the search as well. We must become that thing that’s missing. Become the thing that’s lacking, become a good dad. When Tamia becomes an adult I want her to look back and say “I have no idea what you mean by having a bad father because mine was good.” I’m constantly looking for ways to become a better father. Our Father in Heaven is a good father. Therefore, I’m working to be like my Father in Heaven. Find a good father and become one yourself.
   
3. See how God does it and do it that way.
   As I mentioned, our Father in Heaven is a good father. Therefore, see how God does it and become more of that. Our best example in becoming a father is to follow the best example. God describes Himself as a father. This is a strong indicator that a father is greatly needed. He calls Himself a father first before He calls Himself a mother. How can we be more like God in the life of someone else? That’s how we become extraordinary. That’s how we become uncommon. That’s how we become the best at who we are and what we can become. That’s how we become the best father we can become.

I will leave you with this final thought. If you look at these takeaways, how can we elevate (value) the role of father and make a difference in the society around us? Instead of tearing it apart and removing the role of father, we can start reinstating it and transform our society for the better.

Question: How can we help make the role of father become more prevalent today than ever before?