When I Look At My Child I See Me?
The Shoulders Upon Which We Stand – Part 8
Let me start by revealing this next eXtra-person; our daughter, who is a young eXtra-woman. You may not know this but your child is a gift in and of themselves. They have unique gifts of their own, which is what makes siblings unlike each other. It’s the reason why identical twins aren’t really identical. They’ve all been gifted differently. Our daughter’s name is Tamia and her gift to us we’ll call, “The Image of Me.” Let’s call her “The Mirror Image.”
The Bible calls children a gift; she’s a gift to me.
She is the revealer of our very own imagines. I’ll explain more momentarily.
What does she do for me?
In analyzing Tamia’s gift, I did so by answering this question, “what does she do for me?” This question was inspired by Pamela who helped shape and edit this web-post. You too may want to ask the question of yourself. Since our children are a gift, what does your child do for you? In answering this question, the gift will emerge.
She gives me a mirror to look into.
Your children have a funny way of revealing a couple of things: your flaws and your strengths (gifts). I can see me in her. This is a sobering thought. Here’s just one reason why. I can see that shy little boy I used to be in grade school show it’s ugly head in her from time to time. So I must help her to overcome being shy and having anxiety in her performance. You see in our minds we have to perform to a certain level because we believe it’s expected by others: parents, friends, teachers, adults, and other classmates. It’s a heavy weight wearing such a burden and I’ve seen this image in her. Your child may be seeing you in their mirror, so what flaws do you have that they need to overcome? While this seems negative, it’s actually positive because you’re the one person who truly understands your challenges and the one person who can help your child overcome the flaws you’ve passed down. She gives me the gift of being her hero; her eXtra-man. The same is available to you as it relates to your child, if you simply take a look at your mirror.
I’ll leave the negative alone for now as we’re concentrating on gifts. Now for the good stuff. Tamia is precise like her dad. She has the attitude of her mother and the kindness of her step-mom, Pamela. She is well liked and is a voice of wisdom for her friends. She is compassionate, yet direct with little filtering. I like having someone in my life with the same disciplines, organization, timeliness, and personal habits. She doesn’t misplace anything and there’s a place for everything. Sounds familiar? Sure it does. These are my traits. She’s a mini-me. Have you taken an inventory of the attributes you see in your children? What are their characters and their gifts? These are the things the two of you need to relate.
I recall a time she was preparing her journal. Adding notes and sections to it that meant something to her. Who prepares a journal? Well, I do. She likes pens and sticky notes. You know who else likes this kind of stuff? I do. The point is this. Your child is an image of you and possesses a piece of your gift. The beauty of it is, it gives you a way to connect. Stop looking at their differences or strange behavior and find that gift.
The Gift to Become More of What I Want to See
Gifts have a funny way of transferring. You see those traits have been transferred. “The Image of Me” has gifts that have been transferred from those who parent her. One in particular, she has a gift that transcends races and cultures. That means she doesn’t allow this to be a barrier when it comes to interacting with people. She enables me to see me. There are many occasions where I notice my characteristics and I think to myself what else is she picking up. This pushes me to become not more of who I am, but more of I what I want her to be. I need her to see me in the way I want her to see herself. If you have children, this is something that should be considered. I’ve heard it said that if you’re looking for a spouse, become the spouse, the spouse you’re looking for is looking for. If you’re a parent become the parent that you wish your child would model. That’s what Tamia gives me and now you. X-woman? No. Extraordinary young woman. eXtra-woman and I can’t wait to see how these gifts develop as she becomes an adult. A child’s gift usually exceeds their parents’.
If you would, do me a favor and share this post with one of your parent-friends. I’m sure it will open their eyes to seeing the gifts they’ve literally given birth to. Thanks for visiting NoLongerCommon.com.