The Involuntary Fight to Be Different

What it Means to Be No Longer Common? Part 3

The Involuntary Fight to Be Different

The great contradiction to being “normal”
Contradictory to what everyone wants us to think-that we all want to be like everyone else, we fight hard to outdo the people in our circle. Each individual wants the best home, best car, best family, the best job or the best appearance.

Being like everyone else is like being in prison; we’re forced to do and be like everyone inside.  I’ve even noticed children and teenagers who must wear uniforms to school who try all that’s within the dress code to make their uniform look different from everyone else’s.  Again contrary to what we think, no one desires to be like everyone else.  And we’re constantly trying to break free.

The least in the circle
There is no one on the planet that wants to be less than everyone in their circle.  How would you feel if you were considered the least in your circle of friends?  You’d probably find a new circle of friends where you at least blend in.  The point is this, you’d rather be the best in your circle, but you’d never remain the least.  Somewhere deep inside of you, you desire to be the greatest.  The only problem that you have is if you’re afraid to be great, you’ll only settle for being the average of your friends.

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Being at the bottom of the list is out
No one wants to be at the bottom of the list. When we can’t be the best, the coping mechanism is called “average.”  In order to not be last, we often settle for being average, even though the goal is to be the best.  We use the word “average” to be the excuse to why we couldn’t break free from our enslavement to “common“.  Even when your last name starts with the letter ‘Z’, it’s not a good feeling to be at the bottom of any list.  Have you ever been chosen last?  I can’t ever remember being the last person picked to be on any team. However, if there was ever a team selection where I’d be last it would have been in the game of basketball.  It’s just not a sport that matches my unique skill sets.  Even when a person expects to be last, there is nothing within us that desires to be last.  In this situation, where we know we’re last, we desire to be first and since we can’t, we’ll settle for being “average”-like the majority.

Freedom isn’t for the “normal”
“Normal” people are content with what makes everyone else just like them.  Even if it means, remaining incarcerated when being released is within reach. “Common” is the prison that incarcerates free people everyday.
One of our favorite movies, Shawshank Redemption illustrates this best.  For the characters who were released from prison, Brooks and Red, they thought of ways to break their parole, so that they could just return to Shawshank-prison-where they could once again become “normal”. Even when we’re in the worst situations, instead of being great, being “common” is the easiest solution.  Freedom is something that an “uncommon” person seeks.  Andy Defrushne-back to Shawshank-wasn’t a “normal” prisoner.  He was unlike any of the rest; he refused to be institutionalized.  He proved that freedom wasn’t for the “normal” in that he developed a plan, executed it and finally escaped from Shawshank.

It’s so easy for us to be “normal” that we rarely look to be different.  We have a greater fear of being less than the rest and we also fear being more than the rest. Because of this fear, we remain “average”.  Have you ever wondered why … if we all want to be “normal”, we fight so hard to be different?  

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